got criminally profiled today. was stopped for my expired tags. soon as that polices got behind me, i tried to casually avoid/move away from him, but he got me. i got my license and reg out for him and explained that i'm a pizza man and on my meager wages it's been difficult to repair the things that kept the car from passing inspection. the cop, i guess, appreciated my candor. what was weird, though, is that as he was running my license, one of his buddies appeared. you know how pigs do, they see a sow stopped somebody and they wanna get a piece too. so as the dude who stopped me returned to my car, with only a warning ticket, the other dude went around the other side and started eyeballing the shit inside my car. yep, my flour-y work shirts, loose cassettes, a couple empty cig packs, my groceries. intense, right?
but then he shouted "what's in the baggie in your center console?", which the guy who stopped me repeated. it was funny, like the second guy thought he'd just discovered a ticking bomb or something. he actually stood back and got his hands at the ready, above his cuffs and gun. i was like, "it's a button. i keep a spare button for my jacket in the car in case i lose one." i handed it to the first officer and he inspected it, took a little look-see around my car too, and warned me that most of his colleagues aren't as nice as him. (no kidding, really? his buddy was ready to aggressively arrest me over a button!) so yeah, more shit i can't afford. and now it's crucial. i can't afford to get caught again with expired tags, or maybe an elbow patch on the dash!
guess they figured "he's got a beard. he must be up to no good." yeah. i'm a button trafficker!
i thought i could maybe find a Madlib track about something like this, but nobody's posted Crime by Quasimoto, and i've already done Quas and Madvillain... and the stick-up story on the Kweli collaboration (Keep the Engine Runnin') is nowhere near as good as Happy Home which should flow nicely into tomorrow's final Invasion post....
some day we'll make a happy home together, again. eight days til i see you!!!!
LRV, b
Dude if your car has any sort of damage to it, or isn't clean etc. you are a suspect in their eyes. One time I was pulled for speeding in my beat up Tercel, and the cop actually asked me: "is this YOUR car?"
ReplyDelete