63 Days in the Void, and Finally...

holy crap. it's on. i've spent the last two months chronicling an emotional vigilance through the void of your absence. every day counted, every word poised to find you smiling, (most) every song chosen for the specific reason of making you feel special each and every day. (even the weird ones). the missing-you would have been almost unbearable if not for the therapy of these transmissions and your lovely voice over the phone. i don't know how they did it in the olden days. (still, judging by most movies, nobody ever got those letters or knew they were received. there's always some confusion; some missed connection....) anyway, people say these four little words daily to co-workers they can barely tolerate, but they rarely mean as much as they do right now. this entire blog has lead up to this point, and these words. you ready? babygirl,

i'll see you tomorrow

LRV, b

62) There's a Girl Out There with Love In Her Eyes

and in just a little over 48 hours, i'll be holding her again. (it's you!) how could tomorrow follow today? it just happens. think i'll take my chances on that big jet plane.... i'm less frightened about that than i've been in the past. at least, that's what i'm telling myself. we'll see how i am when i'm in the thick of it. (it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems). your folks being on the same flight is a big help. i can't lose my shit in front of your dad. gotta keep it together. in the end, the experience itself will be worth enduring a little fear/discomfort getting there. (the way back will be no picnic, but for lots of reasons; not just having to be at the airport so early, a couple hours before the children of the sun begin to wake). getting a little choked up listening to this song, feeling the growing anticipation, nerves, anxiousness and anxiety... and above all, the unfathomably emotional catharsis of getting to see you, finally. i may literally explode. bring a poncho.



LRV, b

61) You're the Kind of Girl That Fits In with My World

[This post was deleted for being too revealing. This is not a place for self-suffered projections of insecurity. It is an homage to love and longing. I apologize for any disturbance to any readers who may have caught it. Consider the floater flushed.]

That being said, Ms. Lady, I will give you anything, everything, if you want things.





LRV 4EVR, b

60) You're Gonna See My Shadow, Soon, Around You

almost forgot to write today! Deerhoof was awesome, as you know. we've talked about all that already. today's kinda blah. rainy cool and gray. i've gotten myself into a deconstruction process with a song that needed revitalizing. it's coming along okay but it's presenting an odd set of challenges... time suspension, continuity, does-this-really-work, etc. i'm trying to mold it toward the way i've been playing it on guitar for Karola's dance projects, free and open, but keep the pop aspects in tact too. i've always felt the recorded version lacked a little in surprise. hopefully, if i can pull it off, (or at least meet the idea half way), the new end result will be something a lot more intriguing.

apologies. i haven't put any thought into what i might post today and i'm kinda holding out on a couple songs until right before leaving. plus i've been listening to nothing but Deerhoof and readers of this page (lurkers, voyeurs) are probably sick of hearing about them by now. so what's the first thing that pops in to my head? honestly, it was I'm Gonna Booglarize You Baby (and i will, rest assured) but this is more appropriate for the bittersweet anticipation of our wonderful reunion.




LRV, b

59) I've Got a Woman Waitin' for Me, That's Gonna Make This Trip Worthwhile

okay so it's a LOT more than 25 Miles, and i won't be walking, but i'm getting closer everyday! not too much to say today. am psyched for Deerhoof tonight. feels kinda groovy that you saw them there, and now i'm seeing them here (well, upstate)... like things are beginning to come full circle. like, just a couple weeks ago you were only a few feet away from them and i will be just as close tonight. almost feels like they're unknowingly carrying your spirit with them. hell, in the last 59 days i haven't been anywhere near anyone who's been anywhere near you... does that make sense? it does in my brain. harmony harmony harmony!

LRV you too much, b