the moment i've been waiting for since December...
it's been a lot of things 'round here; lonely, hopeful, quiet, stressful, occasionally inspirational with bouts of blocks... there have been times where the missing-you was almost crippling. and there have been spells where it seemed like you've barely been gone a minute, much less for months. but this whole experience wasn't about me. it was about you.
and may i say, you've done wonderfully. remember those first few days? you were so scattered, having to navigate this sprawling new place to find your family and friends. your first few shifts were monstrously stressful. all those things which school hadn't prepared you for, the realization that their ways of doing things weren't quite the ways you'd known, that sink-or-swim feeling... but you powered through it and had it under your thumb in no time.
seemed like every night when we'd talk you'd be on your way to, or just home from, a Trader Joe's or Whole Foods, and your meals sounded outstanding. you have no idea how resonant it was that you were eating well and taking care of yourself, and you looked a-maz-ingly gorgeous, radiant, from such a great diet, and all the exercise implicit in your work. when you ran outside at your uncle's house to give me a hug, i could barely speak. the phonecall with mom, though nice, had to end. you were here. i was there. we were together and the universe made sense again.
i got to see for myself what i'd been missing. not LA, which has its niceness but isn't for me. but you elevating yourself, starting a career, working very hard, and maintaining your health like a pro. and Hollywood didn't phase you, which is the raddest part. you kept your eye on the prize, being the best OTA you can be.
everybody, your parents and i, my parents, our friends, we're all incredibly proud of you. it took a big tub o' guts (Brando-stylee) to do what you did. you moved to The Big City, worked your ass off, and made a nice chunk of change doing it. you didn't go broke, you didn't go crazy, (permanently), you didn't run off and become a Mooney or a Hippie or a Ho or any of the other Weirdos people always 'warn' you about California. you redefined Kashka. you've evolved and become more focused, and more wise, from this experience. i look forward to carrying the torch and walking with you toward achieving all of our dreams, individual and shared.
and tonight, you come Home. people been asking me all week "are you excited" and of course "yeah" i am, but it hasn't really hit until now. i'm a little choked up, to be honest. we made it. we survived three and a half months apart. but there was never any doubt we would. i don't think anybody won any bets against our resilience. it never even felt like we were being tested, other than having to wait a while to see each other. OPP? nah, you know me. (and i know you). it ain't our type. really it was just a temporary departure in our 8-year, but still budding, history; one that would only strengthen us, and remind us of all the reasons why we're still, and always be, In Love.
Yours without end,
b
