This Is It

the moment i've been waiting for since December...

it's been a lot of things 'round here; lonely, hopeful, quiet, stressful, occasionally inspirational with bouts of blocks... there have been times where the missing-you was almost crippling. and there have been spells where it seemed like you've barely been gone a minute, much less for months. but this whole experience wasn't about me. it was about you.

and may i say, you've done wonderfully. remember those first few days? you were so scattered, having to navigate this sprawling new place to find your family and friends. your first few shifts were monstrously stressful. all those things which school hadn't prepared you for, the realization that their ways of doing things weren't quite the ways you'd known, that sink-or-swim feeling... but you powered through it and had it under your thumb in no time.

seemed like every night when we'd talk you'd be on your way to, or just home from, a Trader Joe's or Whole Foods, and your meals sounded outstanding. you have no idea how resonant it was that you were eating well and taking care of yourself, and you looked a-maz-ingly gorgeous, radiant, from such a great diet, and all the exercise implicit in your work. when you ran outside at your uncle's house to give me a hug, i could barely speak. the phonecall with mom, though nice, had to end. you were here. i was there. we were together and the universe made sense again.

i got to see for myself what i'd been missing. not LA, which has its niceness but isn't for me. but you elevating yourself, starting a career, working very hard, and maintaining your health like a pro. and Hollywood didn't phase you, which is the raddest part. you kept your eye on the prize, being the best OTA you can be.

everybody, your parents and i, my parents, our friends, we're all incredibly proud of you. it took a big tub o' guts (Brando-stylee) to do what you did. you moved to The Big City, worked your ass off, and made a nice chunk of change doing it. you didn't go broke, you didn't go crazy, (permanently), you didn't run off and become a Mooney or a Hippie or a Ho or any of the other Weirdos people always 'warn' you about California. you redefined Kashka. you've evolved and become more focused, and more wise, from this experience. i look forward to carrying the torch and walking with you toward achieving all of our dreams, individual and shared.

and tonight, you come Home. people been asking me all week "are you excited" and of course "yeah" i am, but it hasn't really hit until now. i'm a little choked up, to be honest. we made it. we survived three and a half months apart. but there was never any doubt we would. i don't think anybody won any bets against our resilience. it never even felt like we were being tested, other than having to wait a while to see each other. OPP? nah, you know me. (and i know you). it ain't our type. really it was just a temporary departure in our 8-year, but still budding, history; one that would only strengthen us, and remind us of all the reasons why we're still, and always be, In Love. 

Yours without end,

b

untitled

 just checking in for a sec to say LRV U and travel safely on yr way north. i'm psyched you're coming home soon, and the next couple days will be preparations for your return (like finish a couple projects, household chores, a few special treats, etc). you'll be busy having a blast. i doubt you'll have a spare sec to read whatever drivel's spilling here .so i'm giving myself the next few days off, too, so's i can take care of bidness.

 here's a San Fransisco treat for you. have a groooooovy time!

LRV, b

For Those of You Who Might Be Counting

 She's home in 6 days. You may have her in 8. 

to you, my lady, all i can say at the moment is that i know these next few days are gonna be hectic, but they're also going to be fun as hell. you're gonna love San Fransisco. ooooh! you're calling!

LRV, b

note: the artist here is the Pointer Sisters, not DJ Food.

A Damn Fine Reason to Be Happy

a week from today will be a lovely day indeed. seems impossible to think any day could be nicer than today, and not just because today it's gorgeous outside and creative productivity is unusually plentiful. but next week Tuesday, when you come home for the first time in almost four months, everything will be wonderful and back where it belongs and whole new spring leaves will turn. 

so as a celebration, my 3 favorite good day songs...

 just one look at you, and i know it's gonna be

LRV, b

Suckers, Liars, Get Me a Shovel

keeping up to date on current events can be frustrating. for a long time i was content to be willfully under-informed, so as to not have to deal with the stress of processing all the bullshit happening around me. but, in essence, that's being part of 'the problem'. complacency, as a community, is dangerous and the Powers That Be kinda count on that as their cushion between their nefarious doings and what they sell to us.

since you've been gone, i've gotten into the routine of reading the BBC News app on the phone in the morning, between snooze alarms. also, during smokes at work, i regularly check in with other trust-worthy and seemingly-objective news organizations Democracy Now and the Raw Story. i feel like these organizations report fairly in that criticism is rarely in their establishment's rhetoric*. it's not like tv news, largely punditry, where somebody introduces a story, makes some snarky comment, and then goes on a tirade about how they, (and we should?), feel about it. and before you know it, BAM! it's in people's heads that way. Obama wants to kill our grandparents. Muslims hate our freedom. Socialized medicine is communism. We'll be standing in bread lines by fall. (*this afternoon, though, i read Juan Gonzalez refer to the mid-western union battles as an "assault on labor", which didn't bode well for objectivity. this is also the reason i do not like Michael Moore's films. he's too into his own crusades). 

i do enjoy the Stewart and Colbert again, thanks to their internet generosity. cable company, be damned! and they pretty much rewrote the book on snarky news punditry, elevating it to absorb satire, wicked sarcasm, criticism and comedy. Stewart tries to seem bilaterally critical but it's fairly obvious how he hangs. Colbert, on the other hand, has the stones to go after anyone just for being in his studio, keeping his personal politics ambiguous behind the show's Bizzarro-Conservative bent. but this is Comedy Central, it's not supposed to be information. it's entertainment.

so, yeah. s's f'd the h up. i don't like what i see. i don't like war planes over a place where we're supposed to be supporting peace. i also don't like crazy-ass dictators killing their own people just to prove a point, but fight fire with fire and pretty soon the whole world is burning. this is why the Arab world doesn't like us. it's not because we have Freedom and Jesus. it's because we keep blowing their shit up, and doing dirty business making very nasty people very rich by raping their resources. That's the kind of freedom they don't like. that, and Britney Spears.

and really, I think Obama fucked up bigtime. didn't we all learn, when Bush II did it, that planes dropping bombs over a sovereign country is an Act of War and, by Constitutional definition, only Congress can declare war, not the President? Bush got a UN resolution, too, by the way, but never an official declaration despite launching a campaign into Iraq. French planes may have been the first to drop over Libya, but ours are there too. i really like President Obama but this is gonna hurt. (Ralph Nader, the only candidate other than Obama whom i ever supported whole-heartedly, alluded recently to covert operations in Pakistan and Yemen; basically saying they can't do "no boots on the ground" in Libya because they got their best boots in Pakistan and Yemen stirring up no good. he's also calling "war crimes" on Obama, which is Constitutionally true but just pains my heart to hear).

it will be interesting to see the Conservative backlash from this, too, because they were all behind Bush's wars and they'll probably scream bloody murder on this one. they'll be fully aware of the hypocritical shit on their faces but they'll sell their outrage anyway. i say if you're gonna impeach Obama and try him on war crimes then you better round up Bush and Cheney, too. Condoleeza, Hillary, the whole gang.what's good for the goose, you know?

all the critics, you can hang 'em, i'll hold the rope.

LRV, b

These Metal Fingers Be Holdin' (Hot Sh!t)

dinner is good things, korean barbecue beef with green bell peppers, asparagus, and basmati rice.

it might look like a monster movie but it's deeeelicious!

mm food!


LRV, b

new hobby

used to think the masks and bandanas were because they were bad. now i know. fumes are a bitch.

LRV, b